Concussions echo thoughts that crash inside the walls of my mind, leaving me with only a ringing I am unable to wish away. The earth quivers and the walls of my world shatter and are crumbling nearer to me.
I wait for death and yet he only waits; tormenting me. My soul contemplates deserting, I knowing my fate will be swift when he goes. The state of which I’m in could be a blessing not having to live at death’s door. I’ve given up that God will come for me, or perhaps is it that God waits for me too. How could I die with any dignity left if I am to pound on deaths door begging “Take Me! What Are You Waiting For? Take Me!”
Even now the quiet of mid day, the silence, it drives my nerves reckless. It’s the waiting you see. Waiting for the toll, I cannot afford to pay this price just to die with dignity, and yet my beliefs have been so strong to take my life only to lose my soul and honour. When will death come, then wait for me to beg again.
I didn’t have to wait long by any standard, but the eternity tore at my soul. Once again the earth moves, and my patience dies before me. Lost for a moment, I find myself panning over all the decisions I’ve made and wonder which decision was the wrong decision that inevitably brought me here to this point. The preponderance of the quakes has convinced my flesh to crawl from my bones, and in hope alone to escape the torment.
OH GOD HELP ME!
What is that, what do I hear, what is this that I hear now! What are you doing to me now! The distant roar that turns to rumbling, the silence that is over taking my mind. The clouds and dust dissipate and light comes. My sight is returning to me. Has God heard my frantic prayer, has he taken me, did I finally expel any dignity I grasped for?
I am unable to move. What if it is only a trick of my mind? I will not leave this place until I am sure. There is nothing that can convince me that I am not dead. I do not want to look to see.
Even now the quiet of mid day, the silence, it drives my nerves reckless. It’s the waiting you see. Waiting for the toll, I cannot afford to pay this price just to die with dignity, and yet my beliefs have been so strong to take my life only to lose my soul and honour. When will death come, then wait for me to beg again.
I didn’t have to wait long by any standard, but the eternity tore at my soul. Once again the earth moves, and my patience dies before me. Lost for a moment, I find myself panning over all the decisions I’ve made and wonder which decision was the wrong decision that inevitably brought me here to this point. The preponderance of the quakes has convinced my flesh to crawl from my bones, and in hope alone to escape the torment.
OH GOD HELP ME!
What is that, what do I hear, what is this that I hear now! What are you doing to me now! The distant roar that turns to rumbling, the silence that is over taking my mind. The clouds and dust dissipate and light comes. My sight is returning to me. Has God heard my frantic prayer, has he taken me, did I finally expel any dignity I grasped for?
I am unable to move. What if it is only a trick of my mind? I will not leave this place until I am sure. There is nothing that can convince me that I am not dead. I do not want to look to see.
I cannot be left alone with the silence in my mind, take me with you!
