Couldn't Count The Ways

I can tell you almost everything I love about you.I can see everything I love about you.I can show you I love you, but I cannot show you enough; and you will barely have a glimpse of how I feel about you.

First Time We Met...

I was back packing in India

on my way to Goa, thumbing for a ride. You stopped just passed me. I ran to the side of your Defender, just as I was thanking you for stopping, and asking; "How far you're going... you pushed a Beretta in my face and said; "Entrer Vous Asshole." As I reluctantly entered the vehicle I asked; "uhmmm... do we know each other?" I remember you accelerated rapidly, driving like you stole this Defender... well, the military markings on the vehicle were a bit of a give away. (wondering to myself "What dumbass gets into a vehicle with a derange psychopath"; and there in that moment it dawned on me that this is very much like the start of my previous two marriages.)

So, there we are, you driving frantically in the midst of over populated traffic of bicycles, mopeds, assorted vehicles, transports and pedestrians... I couldn't help notice how intense you were; your beautiful long hair loosely pulled back, and up in a pony tail, elliptical angles of your chin and cheeks, lovely neck of a ballerina, round plump breast barely concealed by the olive drab tank top, and black lace bra... (wondering to myself; in this heat, and with you seemingly focused on a get-a-way; what was it that aroused your nipples?) ...slender waist of your khaki twill shorts rolled up above mid thigh... two lovely thighs; between which rest the Beretta recently pushed in my grill. I believe you were wearing matching olive drab socks rolled down atop of your brown chukkas. (Now thinking back, I was wearing an olive drab polo, my favourite khaki twill short, military sock rolled down atop of my chukkas.) Light golden tan and a beautiful glow about you... like when you're having sex.

It didn't seem a good time to ask why you were racing around pointing guns at strangers, but I had to ask eventually. You said; "you were having a bad day... you missed fighting with the Resistance, and had the urge to kill someone." you then said; "I'm sorry, but you are going to be having a bad day today too." (wondering to myself; I should have eaten breakfast this morning.)

I was about to suggest you let me out on the other side of the bridge is when suddenly a skeleton of a man on his bike cut you off; you veered into the oncoming traffic, nearly missing a transport bus, and crashing through the bridge wall.(wondering to myself; I doubt you are insured for this.) We plunged into the river below, the force of the water push the wind shield back; which knocks you unconscious. I pull both of us out of the wreckage and swim us to shore.

What started as me giving you mouth to mouth became a long passionate very arousing kiss... (that and the cool water made both our nipples firm.) You looked at me and said; "Well Bugger, I can't very well kill you now. Towit I replied: I appreciate that, now if you don't mind I have to retrieve my back pack and get the hell out of here.

You asked very curiously; what's the rush??? I kindly replied; I'd like to travel everywhere I want; however, I don't have a passport, but I do have an obscene sum of money in my back pack... and on the odds that you might change your mind...  Au revoir.

Human Sunshine

How fair and bright is the morning lightAfter the night’s deep gloom,When the sunshine streams with golden beamsOn the roses in their bloom.But he who sheds wherever he treadsLove’s light o’er friends and foes,Gives life more power for the trying hourThan sunshine gives the rose.Ah, vanish fears when love appearsAnd kisses faint hope to life,Gives strength for the right and nerve to fightIn a seemingly hopeless strife.With glowing ray love illumines the wayTo victory’s goal at last,And in her light we forget the nightAnd the sorrowful hours fly past.And we who are left, of a friend bereft,Through all these changing years,Though our eyes grow dim when we think of him,May mingle our smiles with tears.For pure and good, in his young manhood,His faith was clear and high.He has found sweet rest, across his breast,The cross of Sigma Chi.

Revelations:

When the Lamb opened the fourth Seal there came a dark resounding voice of a creature so disturbing to my Soul I felt the earth quake; and the voice commanded; COME! I looked and before me was a great horse whose flanks did bulge from enduring many victorious Battles.

The Pale gray and white shimmer of the Beast coat momentarily distracts your eyes from the Master Horseman; but, only for a moment. Behold the Pale Rider; his named Death; and Hades will follow close behind.

I met Death two days ago; and as I looked Death in the face; Death's look pierced through my Soul. I could feel the point of Death's dagger come from behind his eyes and press firmly against my throat; but, twas not my time; and what I saw looking into the face of Death was a mirror image of myself. The same hair, eyes, build, the way he stood; and when Death spoke, I spoke.

Then Death turned, and away he went with a purpose.

Let’s Sail Away

Close your eyes, hush your lips, sleep tonight, and dream way your fears.
Don't shed your tears, the nightmare won't appear, so clear your mind of woes.
Think of happiness, while I sing you this lullaby, I will never let go.
Listen to the whispering wind, and imagine what it tells you my dears.

Let's sail away on a golden ship with silvery mains full, and sail thru the starlet night.
We'll ride a snow capped crystal blue wave, in search of the crystal blue moon.
A gentle breeze softly blows; the winds of night so softly are signing and waiting.
Waiting to sail your worries away; so sail away from your cares of this day.
Soon the sea will carry them away, keeping your tears for another day.
Let's sail the sea by the ship near the key, and sail from our hearts our troubles away.

Love That Touches Me

That she hast my heart chiefly, and my sorrow. That she hast not all is my grief, ‘til morrow comes.

Loving offenders; a loss in love that touches me more.

Thou dost love her, because thou knowst I love her.

Thou dost love her, because thou knowst she love you.

Loving zenith my heart ; though pang of her absences.

That I hast weaken from loss of my love’s affections.

That I hast strengthen from thou to hold my love twain.

If I lose thee, my loss is my love’s gain, so bury me.

And both for my sake lay on me this cross, O’ Lord.

But here’s the joy O' Lord; She and I become one.

Flattery Sweet flattery! Then she loves but me alone.

Perhaps Love

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm. It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm. And in those times of trouble, when you are most alone. The memory of love will bring you home.

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door. It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more. And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do. The memory of love will see you through.

Oh love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel. For some a way of living, for some a way to feel. And some say love is holding on and some say letting go. And some say love is everything, some say they don't know.

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain. Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains. If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true.

My memories of love will be of you.

-- John Denver

Simply put,

You-you are a night time Rain, You are the Touch upon my hearts void and You are neccessary.
What an Honour which to Win your Thank You.

Your mention is twofold the only one I am hearing. i am Happy to know You; it is good to finally have You back.

Whispers, I have missed you so-that I am burden with Love feelings that overwhelm my sight.

Memories of Once Lady MacBeth

To bed, to bed Thou will not go; It Is the Dark of a mid-night heart That keeps this creature sustaind’d. The grim of thine eye, the grimmest of Leer. Watching, searching for open wounds, As the Bait is consumed. Within chambered bulkheads conjures The hate bestrode on Victims brought by siren. In her gown, In her bed, From where she unlocks Distain; writes her notes, forth Speaks like poison in Thou ear.

Listen and beware, you can hear The thoughts of this bewitched:

Witches'mummy, maw and gulf Of the ravin'd salt-sea shark,

Root of hemlock digg'd i' the dark,

Liver of blaspheming Jew, Gall of goat, and slips of yew

Sliver'd in the moon's eclipse, Nose of Turk, and Tartar's lips,

Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-delivered by a drab,

Make the gruel thick and slab: Add thereto a Tiger's chaudron,

For the ingredients of our cauldron.

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Cauldron of squallier, and cauldron Spent, a witch that Fouls the air with These words she notes. Blood runs black within and without of those hands whose Quill be more like Foil and Dagger. And All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten those little hands.

Heat Oppressed Thoughts

Concussions echo thoughts that crash inside the walls of my mind, leaving me with only a ringing I am unable to wish away. The earth quivers and the walls of my world shatter and are crumbling nearer to me.

I wait for death and yet he only waits; tormenting me. My soul contemplates deserting, I knowing my fate will be swift when he goes. The state of which I’m in could be a blessing not having to live at death’s door. I’ve given up that God will come for me, or perhaps is it that God waits for me too. How could I die with any dignity left if I am to pound on deaths door begging “Take Me! What Are You Waiting For? Take Me!”

Even now the quiet of mid day, the silence, it drives my nerves reckless. It’s the waiting you see. Waiting for the toll, I cannot afford to pay this price just to die with dignity, and yet my beliefs have been so strong to take my life only to lose my soul and honour. When will death come, then wait for me to beg again.

I didn’t have to wait long by any standard, but the eternity tore at my soul. Once again the earth moves, and my patience dies before me. Lost for a moment, I find myself panning over all the decisions I’ve made and wonder which decision was the wrong decision that inevitably brought me here to this point. The preponderance of the quakes has convinced my flesh to crawl from my bones, and in hope alone to escape the torment.

OH GOD HELP ME!

What is that, what do I hear, what is this that I hear now! What are you doing to me now! The distant roar that turns to rumbling, the silence that is over taking my mind. The clouds and dust dissipate and light comes. My sight is returning to me. Has God heard my frantic prayer, has he taken me, did I finally expel any dignity I grasped for?

I am unable to move. What if it is only a trick of my mind? I will not leave this place until I am sure. There is nothing that can convince me that I am not dead. I do not want to look to see.

I cannot be left alone with the silence in my mind, take me with you!

Laid Waste

Time, the moon is down; I hear the clock pounding in my chest.
Objective, heavily I am summoned to the place I was once before.
Morale, never have I acted upon my own accord; and this I must.
Oppressed, breathing is laden; mind a raged, within my thoughts.
Reverence, this is not the time for mercy unto mine enemies.
Revenge, as they have done, do unto them, with great prejudice.
Oath, this my will to make whole once again, let them die traitors.
Will, for my enemies after this day there will be no turning back.

This doom they are not aware; and yet they brought upon themselves.
May God have mercy on my soul for the men I have killed; and for the men I am going to kill.

Act I Scene III

LORD POLONIUS

Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame! The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail, And you are stay'd for. There; my blessing with thee! And these few precepts in thy memory see thou character.

Give thy thoughts no tongue, nor any unproportioned thought his act.

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar. Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel; but do not dull thy palm with entertainment of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade.

Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but being in, bear't that the opposed may beware of thee. Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice; take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment. Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, but not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy; for the apparel oft proclaims the man, and they in France of the best rank and station are of a most select and generous chief in that.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be for loan oft loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine ownself be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

Fatal Visions

Is this a dagger I see before me, is there some point to the lunacy, how comes the feel of this blade warming my senses to deliver the wishes of men of mice. What thoughts you have, that you would be so comfort to know my demise.

The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee; I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. Are you not, fatal vision, sensible To feeling as to sight? Or are you but A dagger of the mind, a false creation, Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain? I see you now and yet, in form as palpable As this which now I draw.

Dare you I do, I trace the edge alone against the Sternum, poignant This dagger it taunts my senses. In it I rage, thrust outward- as I hold emplace the blade that sneered at me. I wait for the breath of mine daemon to escape. Release thee life, release thou anguish, here in my mind thee appears. You hold grasping my hand, clinching your fist, gasping for Air sweet or foul.

It is done, On this another day a battle won. Left with my delusion the future shows me a WAR that’s won. Dreams of time when all this I see are behind me, but never really over, never really gone.

The Ghost will keep company with me.

Long Ago and Far Away

I had a dream of being loved, that she was only for me. It's been long ago since I felt her presence and even then she was far from me. I don't know what happened to me; only that I lost me in her.

I don't know what happened to her; only that she drew me then went away. I loved her more than my dreams before; I loved her that my thoughts silenced the day. I think about her caressing stare, the touch of her voice whispering in my thoughts. Each day I wait for the words she shared and the dream that one day I would kiss the soothing feel of her hair.

Long ago and far away, what ever happened to those dreams, would those dreams be the end of me, would I dream of love for only me again, will she be so far away that dreams are all she’ll ever be.

Come what Come may

Time and the hour run through the roughest day.
These past days have been filled with rising seas, thunderous clouds, and battering winds. My breath taken away, heart felt weaken.
Finding that I don’t have the strength to hate, and yet I must.

Burning in me the truth of matters, whilst thieves and cheats of cons lay waist to my sanity. Tortured are my thoughts, raging in mine eye of the wrongs I endure, how evil prevails upon this land. The willingness of mankind to corrupt and be corrupt.

Due onto others as due onto you. Ney they say; disdained for thee neighbour breaking the very commandments they are sworn to protect against enemies both forgein and domestic.

Who would have fathomed our protectors to be our worst enemy.

To Be or Not To Be

I ask to be or not to be; that is the question that I ask of thee.
It is one of the theoretical questions we ask ourselves at anytime.
In time of anguish, pain, hopelessness, hunger that our soul to be delivered from our suffering.

I would be better off without my life, or would I no longer feel the pain if I did not subsist. I would not feel anything. I would be condemned to an eternity of despair should I take my own life. God have mercy on my soul; what should I do?

Am I in a debate with God about terminating my existence, or my soul? I am only debating with myself. Who else would be listing? I would be embarrassed of course if anyone were to hear me speaking to myself, out loud, pacing as if I am trying to convince another.

If suicide is painless why then is it not more popular?

What brings me to this end that I would deliberate over my own demise?
I am not questioning why I should die, but how I will die should I conclude my existence. I would not want to be a burden on anyone, h0wever I am considering this for my own peace, and the well being of others will be completely out of my hands.

I have preparation to attend, arrangements that must be made. This will take more time. Where is the spontaneity in committing suicide? If there were a woman in my life she would be complaining that I cannot commit to anything.

Well, well, well… I will have to give this more thought later; for now I am being called to dinner.

Begins This Voyage

I am not aware of the direction my thoughts will take me;

Nor the destiny of where I am to go with the emotions here.

This journey is as much of a mystery as any I have enjoyed.

I only hope it is an interesting mystery, and a successful journey.